It begins….

Along this fitness journey, I will be completely honest about how I feel and the progress I experience. Every day is a challenge like I have expressed before. I am so used to either starving myself or starve, binge, and purging, that I get frustrated a lot more now when refraining from doing those things.

Due to that, my weight loss is taking much longer. Even counting macros doesn’t seem to matter because regardless, I do not see any physical results from my efforts. The thing with macros is you have to reach them and not go over or under. If you are under of course you’re going to lose weight but not maintain the muscle mass, which in turn gives you that skinny fat look. You will fit in your clothes but have squishy fat. Going over your macros cause you to gain weight or possibly stay the same if your within your calories but Carbs, Fats, and Protein. You cannot be higher in one than the other because macro eating is balanced.

Right now, my body seems to want to stay the same. None of my clothes seem to fit, but supposedly my fat percentage went done by 1% within the last two weeks. I suppose they fit better than they did before the two weeks I started back counting but that’s the problem with being impatient. When I was impatient before I would just stop eating, boom weight drops. Duh! I am starving. There is nothing wrong with feeling a little hungry. A lot of times we may think we are hungry when in turn, we are thirsty. Or we are emotionally eating because we are bored, sad, and etc. Those things will sabotage our weight loss efforts in a minute. Balance is crucial!

The most annoying thing in the world to me is meal prep. I cannot stand doing it. But when you want to look a certain way and stay within you calorie expenditure and macros, you have to. I think it frustrates me because when I was younger, I would never meal prep and weighed 17 lbs less than I do now. That is another thing…. I obsess over the scale more than my body fat percent. The scale drives me insane because it refuses to drop. I weigh the exact same that I did two weeks ago but my body fat did decrease.

This is going to be a long process, and extremely hard for me trying to do this the right way instead of the easy way. But the easy way always reverts back to weight gain. I maintained a low body weight and was a size 0-2 for 5 years but within the last three, I go from 2-4-6 like a roller coaster. Granted, when I was 0-2, I just didn’t eat…. And slept A LOT. Healthy? No…


Here’s to trying to do it the right way… *raises water glass*

Published by Ashrielle

My website was created to help me, help you, love ourselves. I am trying to reach as many Active, Beautiful women that I can. I am directing focus on those who have had or have an eating disorder. I am hoping to provide the hope and inspiration needed to reach the hearts of those suffering internally and letting you know that everything will be ok.

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