This blog post is inspirational and positive, but that would be a false sense of who I still am at this point in my life regarding self-love. I can be positive in certain aspects of my life, but my weight and looks are not one of them. This will be a constant battle for me….. I, honestly feel repulsed by what I see in the mirror. I am sure many of you can relate at some point in your own lives. If not, bravo to you! I say that with sincerity because I do wish I wasn’t so self-degrading at any point in my life. Yet, here we are. I am stating pure truth and fact about myself. I do not know what self-love is… Granted, I am working hard to learn it. I really just need help in achieving it because honestly, I don’t know how to.
Any audience help on this one is appreciated.
What do I believe self-love is?
I believe that self-love is to know ones worth and appreciating yourself, regardless, of what others may think of you.
In comparison to what the real definition is:
Self-love (noun) by definition means regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic) (google.com).
Along the same lines….
Knowing something, such as a meaning of a word and believing it…. are sadly two different things.
I am not sure what triggered my loathing for myself…..
As a person: I, Ashrielle, am: sensitive, caring, loving, testy, truthful, childlike, funny, Cray, ambivalent, ambivert (extrovert-introvert combination), passionate, addictive, quirky, OCD at times, forgiving, type A personality, strive for perfection (this equals nonexistent), over-thinker and a feeler.
All these adjectives can be good and bad, but it does not make me a bad person. I am a great person, in a non-conceited way. Yet, when it comes to body image, I have the longest list imaginable of grotesque features that I want to change. The problem is….. In health, you need to be balanced. Balanced in fitness/health does not = me. I am trying as hard as I can to have this self-love and positive enlightenment of myself. That is why I initially created this blog. I think that if maybe I can help others see how beautiful they are, then I will see it within myself. Also, a great teacher known as Jesus, states in Acts 20:35: “There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.” In regards to this bible verse and mantra of life, it is the absolute truth. Giving to others and helping others makes me the happiest I have ever been. In which, exercising this way of life has given me self-worth to the extent of knowing what I deserve as a human being, in a relationship, out of a career, etc. Body image, though, is lacking HUMONGOUSLY. Thus, I cannot state that I have self-love or preach to an audience about obtaining it.
It took me so long to write this blog due to the current issue at hand. I refuse to lie and preach about something I do not possess within myself.
On this journey, I am learning myself… Thus, any feedback is appreciated and commended.